I was instantly pulled in by the title. I mean, what woman wouldn't be? But what I found was that this story could just as easily be my story. And if it could be my story, it could just as easily be the story of any number of women. In fact, I'm going to buy copies for my two closest girlfriends because I feel like every woman could get something good out of this book. Really, she didn't tell me anything I hadn't figured out on my own. Mostly I found validation through her experiences as I shouted "me too!" at the pages.
Pamela finds her sexual reawakening by visiting Sacred Intimates, which was something she found while looking into sensual massage as a way to keep her marriage vows intact, but at the same time fulfill her desire to feel another man's hands on her body. That little pebble was what began the avalanche for her and opened so many exciting doors into her sexuality and ultimately her finding her self-worth. She honestly had no reasons not to feel fabulous about herself, as a successful career-woman and a devoted wife and mother. But these are things that plague all women at some time or another, I think. We all have times when we become down on ourselves. We need that occasional reminder that we're goddesses. And sometimes, we need to initiate it because it just won't come on its own.
My means were different than hers, but have produced similar ends. I began taking nude photos of myself in the spring of this year and already, I've felt such a transition in how I feel about myself and it shows to the people who are closest to me. They've noticed this inexplicable glow that comes from feeling good about yourself. By stepping in front of the camera and bearing all, I've been able to stop and really look at myself and find beauty and even sexiness where I never saw it before. Before long, I found that voice inside me that would pick apart everything I thought was wrong was being drowned out by all the voices that were saying, "you know what, I'm pretty freaking hot!" So many women are hyperfocused on what is wrong with our bodies. If you can turn that on its head and look at all the things that are so right, it's amazing the transformation you can't help but go through.
Once I began posting my photos online, the comments I got (and am still getting) only served to reinforce what I was already starting to believe. It's a frightening thing to put yourself out there. But I was met with love and compliments and even adoration. Men and women have seen my body in its most vulnerable state and have nothing but good things to say and that's a huge ego boost. One I sorely needed at the time. All the things I believed to be flaws have become things that people desire and they openly express that desire in comments and messages and my confidence grows with each one. All it does is make me want to take more photos and even look for professional photographers to work with. I want to see how far I can take it, just like Pamela did.
Her epilogue carries just as much value as the rest of the book, I think. She talks about how she lost her career as a result of her openly sexual lifestyle and I think that's an important aspect to a narrative such as hers, and potentially mine. It shows what's at stake for those of us who are sex-positive. It also shows how desperately we should work to become crusaders in our culture to change minds about how we should talk about sex in our society. She makes sure to point out that she has no regrets about living her life transparently, even though it cost her the career she was so passionate about. Through her sexual explorations, she was able to become a whole person, rather than just a fraction of who she was meant to be. That's an important message to anyone who's living an inhibited life because they're afraid of what people would think of what they want to do in the bedroom. I'm a big fan of the mentality that if it's between consenting adults, no one has any right to say that what you're doing is wrong.
So, between the body image issues that I know so many women struggle with and the sex-positive attitude she conveys, I highly recommend this book to anyone on any stage of their sexual journey.
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